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From the Kitchen Disaster Diaries, Example 3


We've all seen pictures of groupies seeing their idols and absolutely losing their minds. Some people have gone so far as to faint from excitement. I never understood that reaction.


Then again, if someone offered me the chance to meet the inventor of the CrockPot, I might have that exact reaction. Actually, I might even tinkle a little bit, but let's keep that between us.


But I digress.


Whoever invented that appliance saved my bacon on nine out of ten meals I've made in my lifetime. Dump some meat, dump some liquid, and dinner is served! I have to admit I've never mastered adding rice or pasta successfully, but I'm used to failure in the kitchen.


Again, I digress.


Most mornings, I throw frozen meat, veggies, and soup/broth into my Crockpot, and dinner will be seventy-five percent complete. Very rarely do I burn dinner in the CrockPot, but it is possible. It's just a gift I possess.


One morning, I noticed a frozen turkey breast in the freezer, so I threw that and canned gravy in the CrockPot. That night I microwaved Bob Evans mashed potatoes and green beans. Mama was a chef that night!


As my husband sat down with the kids, he looked at the turkey suspiciously.

"Where did you get the turkey?" he asked.


"The freezer, of course," I replied.


"Don't eat the turkey!" he screamed as he grabbed everyone's plate and threw the dinner down the garbage disposal.


"What are you doing?!!!!!!" I yelled as I watched him commit the cardinal sin of our household – throwing away a dinner I prepared with my own two hands. I was planning his death as I screamed, and it was going to be messy.


"That turkey was ROTTEN!" he explained.


"What are you talking about? I got it out of the freezer this morning!" I could feel the top of my head coming off like a radioactive cloud.


"It was expired! I put it in the freezer so I could throw it away!"


"WHAT?!" I asked.


To this day, I'm not sure I can even explain this man's logic. The turkey had expired, so he put it in the freezer to save it until garbage day. The problem with his logic is:


  1. I DON'T look at dates on the freezer food because you have six months for meat, and we finish it before then.

  2. I DO look at dates in the refrigerator because things expire, and I will not use them at that point.

  3. We have a second refrigerator in the garage that I never pull meat from the freezer.


This is the same man who leaves empty boxes in the pantry for me to find when I need/crave something. I did not marry well.


He's lucky he's a good dad.


It would have been justifiable homicide. No jury would have convicted me. Right?

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Lisa
Lisa
Oct 10, 2021

Oh goodness... my dear BABS babes, don't hate me for this but I have done the same thing as the hubby in this scenario. NOW HOLD ON... I am alone, I do not have the complication of a husband... I only have myself to answer to when it comes to food. Soooo having said that, I did recently keep my hamburger a little too long and I threw it into the freezer in a plastic grocery bag so that when trash day came I could but it in the trash frozen so that it wouldn't stink up the can or cause maggots (🤢) to form. Do I do this often? No because I try to use my meats right …

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Lisa, you are single, so you are excused for your freezer behavior. In fact, you're excused for any behavior unless it bugs the dog.


Hawaiian Pork Tenderloin sounds fabulous! Recipe, please!

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Sarah Girkadirk
Sarah Girkadirk
Oct 08, 2021

I swear this is one of the problems with the evolution of humankind. Back in our cave days, Men were tasked with hunting and returning with meat. And yes, in those days they risked their lives but that is no longer necessary. Shoot, I can hardly get my husband to make his way to the grocery store - let alone get him to cook dinner! While men were out hunting, women were at the homefront preparing contingency plans for what to do when the men returned empty-handed. I truly believe this is why women are so well-equipped during any crisis situation. It's almost as if my brain turns on to auto-pilot to find the easiest solution. I feel lucky t…


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This happened about ten years ago and I still ask myself, “ Why?”

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Linda DiRubbio
Linda DiRubbio
Oct 08, 2021

Bahahahah…….


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