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How to Grow Out of Your Pants One Bite at a Time

I think I outgrew my pants one bite at a time.

I know what you’re thinking. Every binge starts with a bite. So you would be correct, but that is not what I mean. NOT. EVEN. CLOSE.

Have you ever had a pan of brownies where some sicko took less than one brownie? Hold on. I have to address this phenomenon.

Who exactly eats half a brownie? What kind of person with any shred of sanity goes to the pan, takes a knife, cuts a brownie in half, and then only consumes half a brownie? I think that has serial killer written all over it.

Someone with self-control, you say? No wonder why I didn’t recognize the behavior.

But I digress.

If there was one and a half brownies left, I’d feel like it was my mission in life to clear that pan. The same would go for the last spoonful of dip or the extra casserole in the corner of the dish. I’m just wired that way.

I want to say I do it for the starving children in another place, but no. I’d also like to say I’m just a tidy person looking to clean things up. Still no. It’s just something I’ve been compulsive about my entire life.

My parents never told me to clean my plate. But, of course, that might have been because even as a child, I ate all my food. Except for winter squash, but that’s an ugly story for another time.

Then when my children came along, they didn’t clean their plates, and my actions got worse. It was a frickin’ miracle I didn’t end up like Violet Beauregarde in Willy Wonka. I can imagine the Oompa Loompas rolling my distended body away.

It’s only recently that I’ve realized it’s okay to throw away a large spoonful of ice cream, which realistically could add significant calories to my dessert. Likewise, a quarter cup of rice can be an excellent side dish. There are no laws that demand that birthday cake must be finished. And an entire watermelon doesn’t have to be eaten in one sitting (I might have to make some more progress on this one).

I’m saying it’s not just the binges that end up on my body. It’s the bites, too, and those suckers are deceiving. I’m trying to be a wee bit more aware of my relationship with food. It doesn’t always have to be ghastly, right?

But I still think that Half of a Brownie Practice is verging on criminal.

What do you think? Can you have a healthy relationship with food? Tips & Tricks appreciated.

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2 commentaires

18 sept. 2021

Gosh, this is the hardest and most significant relationship in my life, Me and Food. I love food, I love bad-for-you food. I have tried to have a polyamorous relationship with fruits, veggies, proteins with minimal sugar and carbs but it never works out for me, for us. Eventually I wanna go back and be faithful to fried, ooey gooey, overly delicious fatty foods followed by ice cream or something sweet for dessert.... ohhh the love and comfort... like my favorite sweat pants and blankey, always there to make me feel good. I am working on making better choices and not giving up the bad stuff all together because if I do that, I will binge it and the…

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I‘m with you, Lisa! No more soda because it only dehydrates me in the Florida sun. Definitely writing what I eat as it’s too easy to underestimate when I can’t see what I’m eating. I’m really going to try to slow down and be more present when eating. Usually, I’m so fast I don’t realize I’ve eaten. Plus I might realize I’m full earlier. Like I said, I just want a more healthy relationship with food.

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