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How to Get Over Guilt
In Mental Health
Lisa
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Top Contributor
Sep 13, 2021
Thank you Lyssa for building me up and setting me straight. I so appreciate your support and your words. I got to a point with the female friend that I was so angry but I wasn't sure how to say no. I have always had trouble doing that so I started seeing a therapist about my anger and she taught me about putting up boundaries. She also asked me about the loss of the friendship, knowing that I could lose the friendship by cutting her off. I was honest and said that I had mentally prepared for that because my walls had been up from the get-go. I feel sad that the friendship is gone but it wasn't much of a friendship in that she only reason she wanted me was to use me. Now the relationship with my best boyfriend really hurt when he started treating me poorly because he mirrored his alcoholic, mentally abusive boyfriend. He turned on me and my heart broke so that is where the pain comes from. But when I sat down with them and gave them the eviction notice, instead of yelling at me (which would have been easier) they both started crying. They said that they were scared and that they never wanted to have to move again and they didn't know what they were going to do.... THIS is where the guilt came in. I was kicking them out of their home, I was forcing them to pack again, making them find a new place and hiring movers and while they did "say" that, the crying and all the tears conveyed it. But here is how crazy this all makes me feel... one moment I feel the guilt that I just laid out and then the very next minute, I sit up straight and tell myself NO - I am not making them feel this way or that, I am not forcing anyone to do anything - EVERYTHING would have been different had THEY not treated me (and my dog) so badly that I felt I had to leave the situation just to find peace. Then I get mad that I left, I never should have allowed myself to be pushed out of my own home. But I chose to be meek and let them dictate to me - well NO MORE. I need to remember that I am only taking care of myself and I am only responsible for me and Capt Jack. Unfortunately, they made the choices they did and I had to make the decisions I made - this may cost my their friendship. You know what, if I am being honest with myself, they haven't shown me friendship in a long time. I do feel I need to say that living with them wasn't always bad because we did have some good times where we played games, had wonderful meals, watched shows and movies, but those times were every so often, it was the in between times that were hard. They are not bad guys but they were bad roommates and I wish them the best. I am looking forward to my future... with or without them, i am going to be GREAT either way!!! Dang, I am wordy!! I may need help with that.
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Introduce Yourself
In General Discussion
Lisa
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Top Contributor
Aug 26, 2021
Hello 👋. I'm super excited about this page and being included as a Badass Betch. Let's see whatcha wanna know? I am 55 and while I am not embarrassed by my age, I hate that because of it, my body is choosing to take me on the unpleasant ride I call the CrazyTrain. I have been given unlimited season passes and to be quite honest, I'd rather, just, not. I have yet to actually be diagnosed that I am in Menopause but my need for three fans at night and a desk fan at work and my adjustable mood meter tells me that this train has left the station and we have no idea when it's gonna end. Yay me. Soooo there's that but on a hopefully more interesting level, let's move on. I still work full time as a police dispatcher and have done this for 20+ years, I do hope to retire in 5. I love my job and believe that it is my calling. I also have my own podcast called Digitally Dispatched where I talk about calls I have taken. My goal with the podcast is to share stories and educate people on what to expect if they have to call 911. Also through my job, I was asked to team up with one of my Sgts who teaches officers all over about CIT (Critical Incident Team). This is all mental health based where he teaches all the cops and I help him teach dispatchers. We talk about how to handle callers who are mentally ill, possibly having a break, suicidal callers and how we, as dispatchers, deal with scary critical incident calls and how to take care of our own mental health.. We are trying to break the stigma of asking for help when and if we need it. Whoa, that went longer than I meant to... but I'm a bit of a chatty Cathy and tend to be quite wordy, so if you're still reading, thank you. To round things out, I am happily unmarried (divorced many years ago), no kidlettes, and I live with my pup, who will be 7 soon, his name is Capt Jack Crunchy Beard of the York Shire and he is my peaceful place as I roll on the Crazy Train. We live in Missouri where the weather is very temperamental and currently the temperature is upper 90s and so humid it can make a menopausal woman homicidal. I have an RV that is set up about 2 hours from here where Jack and I can escape to and we truly love it there. I have thought of living there when I retire, we'll see. So that's about it, feel free to ask questions if you want to know more and thanks for sticking with me. I've included a pic of both Jack and me. 😊 Nice to meet you.
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Lisa

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