Thank you Lyssa for building me up and setting me straight. I so appreciate your support and your words. I got to a point with the female friend that I was so angry but I wasn't sure how to say no. I have always had trouble doing that so I started seeing a therapist about my anger and she taught me about putting up boundaries. She also asked me about the loss of the friendship, knowing that I could lose the friendship by cutting her off. I was honest and said that I had mentally prepared for that because my walls had been up from the get-go. I feel sad that the friendship is gone but it wasn't much of a friendship in that she only reason she wanted me was to use me. Now the relationship with my best boyfriend really hurt when he started treating me poorly because he mirrored his alcoholic, mentally abusive boyfriend. He turned on me and my heart broke so that is where the pain comes from. But when I sat down with them and gave them the eviction notice, instead of yelling at me (which would have been easier) they both started crying. They said that they were scared and that they never wanted to have to move again and they didn't know what they were going to do.... THIS is where the guilt came in. I was kicking them out of their home, I was forcing them to pack again, making them find a new place and hiring movers and while they did "say" that, the crying and all the tears conveyed it. But here is how crazy this all makes me feel... one moment I feel the guilt that I just laid out and then the very next minute, I sit up straight and tell myself NO - I am not making them feel this way or that, I am not forcing anyone to do anything - EVERYTHING would have been different had THEY not treated me (and my dog) so badly that I felt I had to leave the situation just to find peace. Then I get mad that I left, I never should have allowed myself to be pushed out of my own home. But I chose to be meek and let them dictate to me - well NO MORE. I need to remember that I am only taking care of myself and I am only responsible for me and Capt Jack. Unfortunately, they made the choices they did and I had to make the decisions I made - this may cost my their friendship. You know what, if I am being honest with myself, they haven't shown me friendship in a long time. I do feel I need to say that living with them wasn't always bad because we did have some good times where we played games, had wonderful meals, watched shows and movies, but those times were every so often, it was the in between times that were hard. They are not bad guys but they were bad roommates and I wish them the best. I am looking forward to my future... with or without them, i am going to be GREAT either way!!! Dang, I am wordy!! I may need help with that.

This is Capt Jack Crunchy Beard of the York Shire at the RV, his happy place, well our happy place. He thought he was a Hound Dog... lol, he is not. 😂

Aww how cute are they!!! Love seeing pics of the babies I have heard so many stories about. Because we have another similarity, I have a little story to share. 😉 Back when I was in HS, we had gotten a female Yorkie and my mom said I could name her. So I said, Tiffany. Mom said "no." I said, Taffy - no. Well she makes tiny puddles, how about "Puddles?" Again she said no. I pulled it all together and said, Taffy Puddles Tiffany Smith - I got "the look" and another "no." I said I would think about it. So I sat and watched my favorite show on TV (at the time), Mork and Mindy and I yelled, "MOM!!" "What?" "How 'bout Mindy? We could call her Mindy." Mom actually said, "Sounds good." So she became Mindy-dog.

@Lyssa Absolutely. If only we could research it, understand it better and help us deal with it or get through it gracefully it would help our self esteem, our relationships with others, and out outlook on the world and it would bring forth a positive change to us and the world we live in. Okay great. I will introduce BABS to some people I know would enjoy it.

I agree with you. Since men kind of rule the world (although that is changing slowly) menopause doesn't really effect them so they don't care as much as they should. I mean if their wives are moody or tired or having hot flashes, the men have an excuse to dismiss her saying, "oh yeah, she's in menopause, it'll pass." I haven't read enough and probably should. I am going to make my doctors appt tomorrow to get in and get the tests and whatnot done so at least I know where I am. I am not a fan of taking meds so I don't really wanna do that. I had an ablation done about 6 or 7 years ago so I haven't had the monthly visitor since then. I do know, though, when I should be cycling because of the moodiness and being quick to tears, well that is how it has been. Now with the addition of the chemistry changes and the hot flashes, I am guessing that the "womanly-pause" is in full effect. And why is it called MENopause? They don't care. LOL I assume it is because there is a pause/stoppage in our menses (another gross word). Anyway, I am here for ya girl and anyone else who needs support during this harrowing ride on the Crazy Train. (que Ozzy)

@Lyssa Ireland Thomas I feel your pain. I have the blues from time to time too. Have you had all the blood tests done and been diagnosed? Is there something you could take for the time being to help with the swings? I ask partly to help but also because I don't know and being that I haven't been to the dr yet, curious if maybe they will have something for me too. It would be nice for you to be able to share in the kids new chapters. And WHY is it always about diet? I mean I get it we need to eat better and less and balanced and blah blah blah but it has to be about more. .

Hello 👋. I'm super excited about this page and being included as a Badass Betch. Let's see whatcha wanna know? I am 55 and while I am not embarrassed by my age, I hate that because of it, my body is choosing to take me on the unpleasant ride I call the CrazyTrain. I have been given unlimited season passes and to be quite honest, I'd rather, just, not. I have yet to actually be diagnosed that I am in Menopause but my need for three fans at night and a desk fan at work and my adjustable mood meter tells me that this train has left the station and we have no idea when it's gonna end. Yay me. Soooo there's that but on a hopefully more interesting level, let's move on. I still work full time as a police dispatcher and have done this for 20+ years, I do hope to retire in 5. I love my job and believe that it is my calling. I also have my own podcast called Digitally Dispatched where I talk about calls I have taken. My goal with the podcast is to share stories and educate people on what to expect if they have to call 911. Also through my job, I was asked to team up with one of my Sgts who teaches officers all over about CIT (Critical Incident Team). This is all mental health based where he teaches all the cops and I help him teach dispatchers. We talk about how to handle callers who are mentally ill, possibly having a break, suicidal callers and how we, as dispatchers, deal with scary critical incident calls and how to take care of our own mental health.. We are trying to break the stigma of asking for help when and if we need it. Whoa, that went longer than I meant to... but I'm a bit of a chatty Cathy and tend to be quite wordy, so if you're still reading, thank you. To round things out, I am happily unmarried (divorced many years ago), no kidlettes, and I live with my pup, who will be 7 soon, his name is Capt Jack Crunchy Beard of the York Shire and he is my peaceful place as I roll on the Crazy Train. We live in Missouri where the weather is very temperamental and currently the temperature is upper 90s and so humid it can make a menopausal woman homicidal. I have an RV that is set up about 2 hours from here where Jack and I can escape to and we truly love it there. I have thought of living there when I retire, we'll see. So that's about it, feel free to ask questions if you want to know more and thanks for sticking with me. I've included a pic of both Jack and me. 😊 Nice to meet you.

Allllll Abooooard.... I am right here with you Meno-buddy. I was thinking last night as I kicked off the covers again for the umpteenth time, "Thank God for the inventor of the fan." I have a small one on my night stand aimed right at my head, a tall on in the corner near the foot of my bed, on high, pointed directly at me and no, not oscillating because I cannot deal with even a moment of it not blowing on me AND the ceiling fan is on medium. It is ridiculous how uncomfortable I can get. It was the mood swings that told me something was really up. I'm normally a go-with-the-flow kind of gal but over the last year or so my temper will go from irritated to explosive in 2.2 seconds. And I get mad over little things and then I be unable to let go of the anger. And then ometimes the anger would turn into tears for no reason at all. I have yet to actually be diagnosed but when the stars align and your body does all these stupid things it's not hard to figure out. I will be making an appt because it's gotten worse, so I will let you know what I learn. But, Man, this roller coaster needs a Pause button for sure.