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Not Silent and Very Deadly

My Achilles Heel is dessert. I have to be very careful with sweets in my house. A pan of brownies or a sheet of cookies could lead to a Cookie Monster reaction from me. It's like I go into a hypnotic state and cannot remember my actions, but there are crumbs EVERYWHERE!

Therefore, I am likely to buy pre-portioned snacks in the hopes of exhibiting some control.

One goodie I am likely to purchase is Fiber One Sweet Treats. I do this for three reasons, as follows:

  1. As they are individually wrapped, I only take one (mostly because my family would hear me unwrapping more than one nibble).

  2. They are yummy, but not so yummy that I would eat the whole box (unless you put ice cream on them, then all bets are off).

  3. With their high fiber content, too much is TOO MUCH (if you get my drift).

If you don't get my point, let me tell you about when I first introduced Fiber One to Braeden when he was eight years old.

It started innocently enough when I discovered Fiber One's Oats & Chocolate Chewy Bars. It looked chewy, chocolatey, and had a HUGE "9G Fiber" stamped on the box. There was no way that couldn't be a healthy snack! So immediately, I bought a couple of boxes with a song in my heart.

Later that day, Braeden asked if he could try one as he was famished. He didn't have to ask twice because 9G Fiber, y'all! I was the BEST. MOM. EVER.

He tried them and fell head over heels in love. After finishing one, he asked for a second, which I forked over because we all know that children don't usually ask for nutritious snacks, so we must NURTURE and REWARD those requests.

By the time he asked for a third one, I felt compelled to cut him off because Mamas are mean like that. I had to keep him grounded in his expectations of me. For the next two days, I had to watch him around the bars for fear of fostering an addiction. During dinner on that Friday night, the side effects of his obsession became very evident. As we were calmly enjoying our family meal, I heard some rumbling from next to me. The next thing I knew, the sound of a violent thunderstorm came from the direction of Braeden's backside.

As I looked at him in horror, I swear that his buttocks lifted off the chair. We are talking genuine hovercraft action. Hand to heaven, my child, actually hydro-planed across a kitchen chair! Since Braeden was a boy who enjoyed shocking us with his bodily functions, my first reaction was to send him into time-out. But as the thunder continued to roll across the plains, I began to suspect that something more sinister was at play. It was Revenge of the Fiber One Bars! I suspect that his age/size vs. consumption rate may have been a factor. Regardless, it was a ROUGH evening for all housed under our roof. I enjoy a good tooting story as much as the next gal, but I share this advisory for those of you who might overindulge in the face of such fiber deliciousness. My advice is to think before you stink. Seriously.

From that Fiber One Episode, I can vouch that there is nothing worse than being the victim of crop-dusting*. *Crop-dusting: the act of unknowingly walking through a human's gaseous emission cloud.

What's your favorite snack that causes you to go Cookie Monster? What healthy treats have you found?

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