Sometimes life can dig you so deep in a hole that you wonder if you’re ever going to get out of it. To make matters worse, life then starts piling dirt on top of you. The weight of the soil on your body gets heavier and heavier. Now you not only have to climb out of that deep hole, but you have to dig through the muck too. You begin to wonder if it’s even worth the effort.
For those of us who believe in a higher power, we whisper, “Have you forgotten about me, God?”
We want to be strong and say, “I knew it would finally come together. I always had faith that it would be okay.”
But in the pit of our stomachs, we wonder if we’ve been left alone like a small child abandoned by her friends on a cold playground.
I’ve listened to Chadwick Boseman say, “When God has something for you, it doesn’t matter who stands against it. God will move someone that’s holding you back away from a door and put someone there who will open it for you.”
I can hear Chadwick’s robust and melodic voice say these words as I wait for that door that never seems to open.
Maybe God only has the door opened for special people, which I guess I missed the criteria?
Maybe I was wrong when I thought I was special too?
Maybe I was only meant to exist on a lower plain in this lifetime?
All those questions hurt my heart. Although I’m feeling a little damaged right now, I don’t believe I was created that way. I may not have honored myself at the level I should have, but God doesn’t make garbage.
Inky Johnson says, “We already know what to do when God says yes. What will you do when God says no.”
Unfortunately, I found I will have a temper tantrum, cry and use a few bad words. But as the days go by, I’m getting better at dealing with the unanswered prayers without losing faith or turning on myself.
With that reaction, I was given a lifeline out of nowhere. I wasn’t pulled from the hole, but I was given a hand shovel to move some of the mud off me.
I realize now that Chadwick’s quote has a second side to it, “God will have people hold doors closed until you arrive at the door that is supposed to be opened for you.”
I just have to be committed to seeing my way to that door.
What will you do when God says no?