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I am Woman. Hear Me Bitch

For the love of corn, I’m exhausted. So I’m calling it; I’m done being a woman.


Before we get into a heated debate, hear me out.


I’m done with female-induced body changes, like periods, pregnancy, menopause, and the mood swings accompanying those changes.


I’m done with adhering to rules set up by men. Whether you are pro-choice or pro-life, we are all in serious trouble when we aren’t allowed to decide for ourselves if we live or die.


I’m done planning all the birthdays, holidays, and other celebrations. Nobody appreciates hard work until they put a little skin in the game.


I’m done with being the only one to know where to find the toilet paper, medicine, and cleaning supplies even though they are ALL in one closet in the hallway stocked like a local Target.


I’m done with listening to four high-level men to every one high-level woman at executive meetings.


I’m done with being afraid when my daughter goes out after dark or wears something tummy-baring in the Florida heat.


I’m done with watching less-qualified, lazy men get the opportunities that are rightfully mine.


I’m done with the expectations that I must be thin, beautiful, and shaped like a Kardashian. And I must maintain that through my youth, pregnancy, after giving birth, and into my golden years.


I’m done with men being threatened by my ideas and voice.


I’m done with being charged with the sin of getting older, having wrinkles, and the occasional zit at the same time.


I’m done with a society that forces females to compete with each other when we should be a support system.


I’m done with feeling bad that I don’t live up to society’s expectations of me.


I’m just DONE.


Not one to bitch without offering some FIX for a problem, I ask all of us to do the following:


Be kind to each other. We share similar journeys, and no one should go it alone. But a little kindness goes a long way.


Support one another. Complimenting another female doesn’t subtract from you – it ADDS to both of you. And it might be the only nice thing she hears all day or week.


Empower each other. Extend your hand to another woman at the workplace or grocery store. It can be giving her a seat at the table or putting her groceries on the conveyor belt because she has an infant in her hands.


Evangelize for one another. Instead of discussing why one’s skirt is too short, talk about how she brings the BEST brownies to class parties (even if it’s from Publix).


Care for each other. It might be making funny noises at her kid when it’s having a very loud, public meltdown. Or it might be telling her, “It’s okay; we’ve all been there! You will survive this tantrum.”


It’s time for a Girl’s Club, ladies. Or better yet, a Betch Squad because we are as badass as they come.


It’s time we forge our own path of realistic, attainable, and sustainable expectations. And this has nothing to do with tiny waists and curvy butts. It comes from our minds, hearts, and souls! It is the true beauty in our encumbered world.


We need to do this not only for ourselves but for our sisterhood. Indeed, nature forces our bodies and minds to endure significant amounts of discord, but it is because we can HANDLE it.


If you look at it objectively, we are walking miracles. How do I know this is true? Because men cannot do what we do PERIOD.


Before you take this as an attack on men, this has nothing to do with them. This is about us.


Us. The female phenomenon.


We persist through the days and years to keep society going. We were specifically CHOSEN for this incredibly hard job. So let’s not squander our chance to change the world. And that girl over there? Grab her hand and take her along with you!


Okay, fine. I’m back in.


But things are going to change.


What love do you have to share with other females?


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