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How to Make a Man Lose His Marbles


Several weeks ago, my daughter had three of her friends over for a sleepover. It was the first time I met them. I was delighted to find they were articulate, well-mannered, and spoke with confidence. As I feel with my daughter, they gave me hope for the future of women.


My daughter informed me that she had sent my husband to get Dunkin' Donuts for their breakfast. Being the coffee trafficker I am, I asked the girls if they'd like him to pick up fru-fru coffee for them? Once I explained that a fru-fru coffee was any fancy coffee, they were excited to give their orders. My daughter quickly texted her dad the coffee order.


Within seconds, the phone rang. Although I couldn't hear my husband's side of the conversation, my daughter's responses revealed his stress:


  • "Yes, Dad, everyone wants coffee."

  • "I know there are only four of us, but mom wants one too."

  • "They are out of pumpkin spice? Just make them vanilla then."

  • "Yes, small is fine for everyone."

  • "I told you mom wants a coffee too!"

  • "There are four of us, plus mom equals five coffees!"

  • "Just read the text, Dad!"


As soon as my daughter hung up, one of her friends looked at me and said, "Men."


Never had a more concise remark been uttered.


Ordering food… the great equalizer in the battle of the sexes.


I have an idea. When we have our first woman running for President, I believe this should be a task to eliminate unfit candidates. Mastering the drive-thru is pressure at its highest level. It demonstrates adaptability, composure, and intestinal fortitude.


We are just one bean burrito with extra cheese and sour cream away from inheriting the earth, ladies!


Can you think of anything else that can defeat a man faster?

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