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Writer's pictureLyssa Ireland Thomas

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Female Periodt.


I realize that this is the third day that my blog has the word Hell in the title. I don’t think I’m feeling especially heated this week. I guess I’m just making some critical points, and I’m punctuating them with the word Hell. I hope you’re listening because that must mean it’s essential.


We’ve all heard the statement, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”


It’s an idiom from William Shakespeare that translates into there is no greater wrath than a woman who has been rejected in love. I know that people LOVE Billy’s literature from way back when, but I’ll bet there was a woman equally (if not more) talented during his time that never got published. I’m pretty sure that she wrote lines about men like, “Thou doth a butthead!”


Or something like that. Again, I didn’t read Shakespeare’s stuff very much.


Anyway, I do know that a woman rejected in love can induce fury, but someone stealing my M & M’s would cause more violence from me. I think women are more likely to get enraged by being overlooked, treated like bubbleheads, and overloaded with chores that need to be shared within families. I’ve planned deaths over toilet paper rolls not being refilled before.


This inner storm can happen in females early as we tend to experience injustice at young ages. Even tiny girls know that the phrase “Boys will be boys;” is wrong on multiple levels. Unfortunately, society is setting girls up to become prone to savagery or become Social Justice Warriors with the way they deal with wrongdoing. Either way, the times are changing, and females aren’t taking it sitting down.


When Hadley was three years old, she had a nemesis at daycare named Silas. He was known for biting, pushing, hitting, and spending a LOT of time in the Principal’s Office. Silas was an equal opportunity adversary, so the entire daycare had fallen victim to punishment at his hands… or teeth.


One afternoon as we drove home from school, Hadley described her day. She informed us that she had been bitten by Silas that afternoon.

When Braeden heard the story, he was not very happy to hear that a classmate had gnawed on his baby sister/best friend. He outlined a five-point plan for Hadley to exact revenge against her tormentor, as follows:

  1. Ignore him.

  2. Avoid him.

  3. Tell all the other kids that he is a poopy head.

  4. Draw a picture of him for the teacher showing his terrible behavior.

  5. Gather all the other victims in the class, form, and beat the living Hell out of Silas on the playground when the teacher isn’t looking. (Step five was explained a little more diplomatically by Braeden, as he was a natural peacekeeper. I may have taken some liberties with the language as her furious mother.)


As I looked back in my rearview mirror to see my sweet daughter sitting in her car seat dressed in her Christian school uniform, Hadley shared her plan to fix the Silas Problem.


“I’m going to tie a rock to his neck, throw him in a pond and let an alligator eat him,” she said sweetly.


Yeah. That’s the kid I’m taking to a knife fight.


Let’s dish on examples of our womanly fury!

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2 Comments


Linda DiRubbio
Linda DiRubbio
Dec 20, 2021

Bahahahaha…….. Go Hadley!

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Lisa
Lisa
Dec 19, 2021

Girls will be girls!! Go Hadley!! What a rock star!!

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