This summer, when I was in the middle of some of the worst stress I've encountered, I had a few choices for how to deal:
Overeating
Crack Cocaine
Crafts
Crack cocaine is just a joke. I come from a long line of alcoholics, and since I was so fiercely addicted to food, I haven't allowed myself to expand into drugs or alcohol. However, I know I'm an overachiever, so I focused my efforts on calorie consumption.
But I digress…
Since I've been embracing a more symbiotic relationship with food, I decided to try crafts to lessen my stress. It was my unfortunate luck that I happened to see Cruella this summer, which inspired me to add some funkiness to my fashion. The jacket Cruella wore as a child especially inspired me, of course. Because why would I be interested in something she wore that was more age-appropriate?
If I were like my mother, a fabulous seamstress, I would have sewn something gorgeous. I am not. So I bought fabric glue, buttons, pearls, and rhinestones. I set about decorating my clothes within an inch of their lives.
Whatever you do, please do not refer to it as bedazzling. That has a desperate, 80s
feel to it. What I did was embellish!
As the days went on, I would scour my closet for anything with a collar. The more stressed I was, the more decoration I would put on the fabric. I was ass-deep in glue and buttons. And when I wasn't gluing, I was scouring the internet for interesting buttons.
Anyway, I don't know if it was the creative outlet or the excessive glue fumes, but it got me through some hard times. And not a drug or Twinkie was misused during this tumultuous time!
I have to address some side effects of this practice – kind of like the warning on the side of a prescription bottle.
The label on fabric glue lists that it can be washed. It CANNOT. You will find buttons and pearls in your washer for days, weeks, and months to come.
Fabric glue is not exceptionally trustworthy. You will be dropping bling all over town. You will end up with pearls in your shoes, and they hurt much more than pebbles. Think more about the level of pain of barefoot on a Lego.
Fabric glue and bling are not forgiving. That means the fabric will no longer move. If you've ever witnessed how the lava in Hawaii hardens to create more islands – it's kind of like that. Unfortunately, this hardening factor does not make for a comfortable collar.
But people will LOVE your creations! At least, I'm hoping they are sincere. But, on the other hand, maybe they are just feeling sorry for me?
Some people might ask for a business card. Do NOT fall into the trap of recreating this artwork for others for the above reasons. Their satisfaction will not last due to the inability to wash garments, lava-level stiffness, and crippling bling in their footwear. It will only end in tears for all parties.
Otherwise, it's a delightful way to manage stress… if overeating or drug use are your only other alternatives.
Godspeed.
What is your stress relief?